Chicago born and Third Coast bred, East Coast educated and New Yorker at heart, Atherton Bartelby is a graphic designer, journalist, and photographer currently residing in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Atherton has been referred to in the past (by both enemies and friends) as a “runaway train”: strange, mystical, and extremely creative. He is the life of the party, always managing somehow to steer the topic of discussion to something absolutely bizarre. He delights in shock value, and tends to focus more on himself than on any prey in his field of vision, which is secondary to him, anyway, as men never seem to be lacking, whether or not they meet his admittedly rather high standards. He is simplistic about his desires and will settle for anything as long as he can be momentarily satiated.

This easy-to-get-hard-to-keep game makes him desired, but he is not the sort to stick around. In fact, he maintains an extremely exclusive circle of friends, and even they never seem to reach the deeper recesses of his mind. His stories are always changing (and are sometimes, like the majority of this short biography, which was written by his younger sister, not even his own); his goals and aspirations are never fixed; he guards his truth fiercely. His cunning makes him a good journalist and an even better thinker; his creativity makes him an award-winning designer.

Atherton thoroughly enjoys higher-end film of the Criterion variety, an engaging Triple Crown Of Horse Racing, reading any truly impressive writer, and thrilling chess games that allow him to conclude them with his flawless, trademarked razvyaska. He also appreciates the postal system, a proper opera, laughing up toward the sun with his close friends on the beach all day long, an emotionally moving ballet, the complete oeuvres of Nina Simone, H. L. Mencken and Paul van Dyk, and skinny-dipping in the ocean…at midnight.

He may generally always be seen around town in a car that someone else bought for him, and takes his frequent Café Américanos too hot, too sweet, and with a straw.

Atherton Bartelby Colophon In The Wordle Gallery


6 Responses to “About Atherton Bartelby”


  1. 1 Bev Kai September 2, 2007 at 6:15 am

    One seldom sees such an ego.

  2. 2 Atherton Bartelby September 4, 2007 at 7:10 am

    Thanks, I guess.

    If you had taken the time to read through this blog even a little bit, however, you would have seen that this was not ego but, in fact, irony.

    There is all the difference.

  3. 3 AV September 6, 2007 at 11:33 am

    One seldom does, but how fortunate we are when we do!

  4. 4 Atherton Bartelby September 6, 2007 at 11:43 am

    If only the commenter knew where this piece originated, n’est-ce pas?

    *wink*

  5. 5 AV September 6, 2007 at 11:53 am

    I know, geez. Can we have some poetic license, or do we have to put a disclaimer on everything? Say, “oh, by the way, this was written by someone else about me and it’s supposed to be funny, so take it with a grain of salt and some tequila, kthnx!” Jesus. Have some fun people, I promise it won’t kill you.

  6. 6 Atherton Bartelby September 6, 2007 at 12:13 pm

    Seriously!

    Proposed Curious Affairs Disclaimer: The characters described herein are real; so is the narrator. The narrator writes fiction, however, so therefore retains all poetic license to semi-fictionalize certain events, insert random “Sex And The City” quotations at any moment, and to treat certain events with supreme irony. So just sit back, read, have some fun, and laugh.

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Epigraph

The great actress and woman Lauren Bacall once noted, "Memory is a precious commodity, not to be tampered with, not to be rejected. We have to be glad of its existence, for it keeps alive those special people — the moments, the places, the feelings." I like to think of this blog as an exercise in perpetuating precisely those sentiments.

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aB Is Doing

Talking of rocket launchers, Ozon films, living wills, and Sodom and Gomorrah with my straight male BFF from Scary Larry is so totally love.

aB Is Going

Atherton Bartelby is at home in Honolulu and has planned trips to:
  • Kahului in August
  • New York in August
  • Paris in December

aB Is Listening

  • Calla Gracio - La Caina
  • 1973 - James Blunt
  • Fast As You Can - Fiona Apple
  • I Will Be Fine - David Vandervelde
  • Trio In E Flat Major - Schubert

aB Is Reading

Endnote

All original content is © copyright 2003—2008 Atherton Bartelby unless otherwise expressly cited. All Rights Reserved.

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