The AB Remainders: Geek Love

So, yes, I am aware that my inaugural “Remainders” was published on a Saturday and not a Friday (even though the copy did intimate that it would be a regular Friday feature), via an e-mail from a new and very rightfully confused reader (so sorry about that, by the way). But you know how you can start out writing a piece at, oh, say dawn on a Friday morning, and then other things, e.g., Life, come up and then you get sidetracked? Or you come across a note that’s been scribbled on a white napkin stained with something that looks like béarnaise sauce but could also quite possibly be a béchamel and the note reads, “BLOG IDEA!!! The taste of freshly caught and steamed Dungeness crabs dipped in lime juice and pepper in the sunlight at 11:00 p.m. in your ex’s parents’ home’s front yard!!!” and you’re all, “WTF? Where was that going?” Or you discover a particularly sexy-in-a-geek-love-way photo spread on the Internet of the guy who founded one of the two computing giants of the last, well, nearly all of the years of your life and you realize that today is now his last day with that computing giant even though it seems like just yesterday that you were learning how to word process on its software?

So, yeah, that’s kind of what happened.

Anyway, never fear: “Remainders” is a Friday feature. It just may not always be published on a Friday.

(And, um, Bill Gates was kind of hot in that photo spread.)

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• Over the last several months of my growing love affair with Twitter.com, I have had the pleasure of following the progress and growth of Alltop.com, the “digital magazine rack” of the Internet. As it is no secret that I (for the most part) crave the discovery of quality, intelligent content in my travels throughout the Internet, I was ecstatic when I found and began using the site, an aggregator that collects stories from “all the top” sites on the web and groups them into intuitive categories, back when it first launched in March. I have this site to thank for all of the amazing new sites that I have discovered recently, all of which have charmed their way easily onto my list of daily “Must-Reads”. Definitely be sure to check out Alltop.com, originally discovered via Guy Kawasaki and Neenz.
• Although I am really only half-kidding whenever I make a self-deprecating joke along the lines of, “Yeah. I’m a blogger. So where’s my frickin’ book deal?”, my initial reaction to the news of another blogger landing a book deal is usually a protracted and exaggerated rolling of the eyes. Not because it isn’t me (again), but because the coveted book deal is generally bestowed upon a blog that I think either: A) sucks; or B) will totally not be successful as a book. And in a world in which there are already quite a lot of bad books, and even more bad blogs, why in the hell would we need / want more bad books derived from equally bad blogs? Which is why I adored Sheila’s “How Will These Blogs Fare As Books?” piece over at Gawker.com this week, i.e., because I agreed with every item, particularly the one about the “Fine Lines” column at Jezebel. About this Friday feature in which writer / reviewer / blogger Lizzie Skurnick gives a “sentimental, sometimes-critical, far more wizened look at the children’s and YA books we loved in our youth,” Sheila writes, “Do not underestimate the power of teen girls, bookish girls, and women who used to be teen girls! They love this stuff.” (So do men who used to be bookish, girly teen boys and read those same books!) Be sure to check out “Fine Lines” at Jezebel via Gawker and This Girl Called Automatic Win. (Please, I beg of you, if you read nothing else, at least read the sublime review of V. C. Andrews’ My Sweet Audrina; its conclusion is flawless.)
• Several found items on the Internet this week totally reminded me why I so-much-greater-than-three graphic design, and being a graphic designer and a visual artist. Some years ago, I was asked during an impromptu interview to describe the importance of graphic design as a career and as a practice. As I was at the time going through a break-up, drinking too much, and listening to far too much Wagner, my response was rather chilling, but, I believe, still rather fitting: “Think very carefully about Nazi propaganda art and design for just fifteen seconds. Now tell me that effective graphic design cannot communicate whatever messages it chooses.” Which is why I devoured “Branding Youth In The Totalitarian State” this week, by Steven Heller, via Design Observer. I found two other equally engaging pieces that focused on the behind-the-scenes work of any designer, be they production designers of books, or the builders and programmers of eventually insanely popular websites. There is something about those initial stages, the “births” of projects, when only paper, pencil, ink, scissors, paste, or paint, are used, that is infinitely inspiring to me. Do not miss “From The Design Desk: Production Is Not For Dummies” over at The Chronicle Books Blog, and “The Paper Version Of The Web,” via what is very quickly becoming my immediate go-to source for all things interesting in the design world, Brand Flakes For Breakfast.
• Probably the most hysterically humorous spoof video I have seen in a very long time. Just watch it. And laugh. It’s as if its creators were proverbial flies on the walls of my last company.

  “The Website Is Down,” via Make The Logo Bigger.

• Occasionally, when I am bored and my Google Reader is empty (i.e., very rarely), I will click on that “Discover>>” link, and invariably roll my eyes (yes, again, and yes, this particular Atherton Bartelby gesture is patented) at what my Google Reader assumes I would find interesting (which is frankly unfathomable to me, as my Google Reader is currently stocked with some pretty fascinating feeds). Anyway, equally as rarely, I find a keeper. This week it was Thomas Hawk’s Digital Connection. With pieces brimming with stellar photography and insightful writing, I simply could not get enough. Only a sampling of pieces I found enjoyable include: “Do Yahoo! Executives Really ‘Get’ The Whole Idea Of Flickr And Web 2.0?,” “My Photography Workflow,” and a referral to another photographer’s eerie photographs of the “Abandoned SFO International Terminal.” Discovered via, well, via my usually lame Google Reader “Discover>>” link! Also worth checking out if, like me, you have salivated over every new post you have seen published there since it launched, is Andy Baio’s Interview With Alan Taylor, creator of Boston Globe’s stunning weblog, “The Big Picture.” Discovered via Kottke.org.
• Rocking My iTunes On Repeat This Week: The Fifteenth Anniversary Re-Issue of my fellow Winnetkan / Chicagoan Liz Phair’s “Exile In Guyville,” of course! (reminded of said historic date via Emily Magazine); The M’s latest, “Real Close Ones,” via Chicagoist and their Tankboy, from whom I receive nearly all of my new music recommendations these days; and Gotye (usually “Heart’s A Mess,” usually late, late at night), via Make The Logo Bigger.
• Finally, and perhaps most importantly, a brilliant discovery: a company that takes great pride in doing one thing, and one thing only: making white shirts. For men and for women, The White Shirt Company: simplicity, utility, perfection. Via Gaping Void.

Always have a classic white shirt handy, be kind to your IT professionals, and have a fabulous weekend!

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[Author's Note: I originally discovered the image of Bill Gates above in another blog article (along with three additional images), which claimed that the images had been part of a photo spread for a 1983 issue of Teen Beat magazine. Having myself been a huge fan of said magazine when I was younger, I laughed out loud and exclaimed to myself, "OMGWTFBBQ NO WAI!" And then I thought about it for approximately thirty seconds, stopped laughing, and said sarcastically to myself, "No, really, no way," before checking in with Snopes.com for The Real Story. (Still, though: what bedroom-y, come-hither publicity photos for a software executive, no?!) Photo Caption: "Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft, reclines on his desk in his office soon after the release of Windows 1.0. 1985. Bellevue, Washington, USA." Photo Credit: © Deborah Feingold / CORBIS.]

Filed under: Academia, Art, Blogging, Books, Design, Fashion, Food, Media, Music, Technology, Web Design , a-list, defining moments, humor, linkage, memories, office love, omgwtfbbq, pimpage, publishing, questions, remainders, video

All About The Aeschylus

I was startled out of my reverie by the sound of my AIM message notification pinging deafeningly from my back master bedroom.

Four years ago, I was standing at my kitchen sink, in the front of my apartment, having just poured myself another monolithic tumbler of straight Stolichnaya and Chambord, and was transfixed by the lights of my Makiki neighborhood blinking happily up at me through the tears that were flowing down my cheeks. A stiff arctic breeze assaulted the moistness of my flesh as I heard the computer-generated sound blare again above the music that was also shockingly loud.

The music was “A Toast To Men,” a silly little throw-away girl’s anthem by Willa Ford (Lita’s daughter, and “featuring” Lady May, who actually was not simply “featured” but vocalized most of the song), and my iTunes had been playing it at top volume on repeat ever since Tristan, my boyfriend at the time, had broken up with me eight days previously. Tristan was, blissfully, out for the evening, allowing me alone, drinking, and crying time, in the dark loneliness of the chilly January, to the soundtrack provided by the song’s chorus, “Fuck the men, let’s drink to us!” (Incidentally, I think that it is fairly safe to say that I would not have grown so extremely attached to that song had I been privy to seeing the video at the time, as well. It is shamefully bad.)

I padded softly into my bedroom where my laptop was situated, massive cocktail in hand, and read the message that awaited me in the AIM chat window. It was from a new friend of mine, whom I had met via our blogs regarding relationships and the endings of such, and who was providing me amazing amounts of comfort and support throughout my own (more recent than hers) heartwrenching break-up. The message asked me to read a short entry that she was about to post in her blog; she wanted my opinion prior to posting it. I maximized the browser window that displayed her blog, refreshed the view, and read the draft version of her entry.

Have you ever thought about how much you mean to someone, only to find out that you don’t matter to them as much as you thought you did?

I smiled, emotionally exhausted, and managed to type back to her, “Darling. It’s lovely. Definitely post it.” I then carried my drink back out to my living room’s lanai, to sit on the floor, chain smoke, drink, stare listlessly down at the lights of Waikiki, and resist the very strong urge to jump fifteen stories to what I knew was the very hard pavement of my building’s parking lot below.

A few hours later, my anger and pain numbed by cocktails to sadness and resignation, I again sat at my computer, switched the Willa Ford to a far more emo Japanese song that had also been playing on repeat for days (when Willa was not), and attempted to come up with a reply to my friend’s blog entry, now displayed on my screen as a public entry.

Rather surprisingly, my fingers quickly and confidently tapped out the following words.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *wink* But seriously: Any time one opens one’s heart, one’s soul, to another, one runs the risk of putting one’s heart, one’s soul, in danger of being hurt. It is always difficult to accurately judge who will take what you give them into safekeeping, and treasure it, and you, as much as they should, and as much as you do them. Yes, it sucks that we do not have radar for judging this (because I obviously do not have it, either).

But I will tell you this (and it is something I am trying like hell to believe myself right now): those chances you take, those risks you take, are invaluable, even if it turns out that you are destroyed, hurt, and decimated. They are invaluable because, no matter what the outcome, they teach you more about yourself, they make you stronger, they make you smarter. And that is perhaps the best gift you could ever be given.

“Drop by drop, wisdom is distilled from agony. From suffering. From pain.”

And, to my great astonishment, as I re-read what I had just drunkenly typed, I found that I actually believed it.

And, to my even greater astonishment, I still believe it upon re-reading it today, several years, numerous relationships, and countless lifetimes later.

(Of course, my belief in it likely has a large part to do with the fact that I tied it up with the Aeschylus. Do you see what I did there? After all, with me and relationships, it is often all about the Aeschylus.)

I only unearthed it from the ether of my previous blog today following a late-morning conversation over coffee and cigarettes with my little sister AV, who informed me that a younger cousin needed assistance with a survey she was undertaking for a psychology seminar in order to prove to the Universidad Católica del Perú that homosexuals are not that different from heterosexuals when it comes to engaging in relationships.

“Oooooh nooooo!” I whined melodramatically. “Darling, you know Gay Pride Month is my version of Lent! And I’ve nearly made it through without thinking at any real length about relationships and my dubious lack of one and now I have to do this? Can’t it wait until July, Darling? I’ll be far less depressed then!”

Sadly, the project could not wait.

Surprisingly, the project did not cause as much pain as anticipated.

Oh, sure, by the time I had reached its completion and re-read what I had written (available for perusal after the jump), I was definitely thinking to myself, “Wow. I sound like A Catch. So why have I failed so epically at so many relationships? Am I just a ‘Good On Paper Guy’?” But then I thought again of the words that I had typed to my friend years ago, and realized that, no matter my failings, in terms of relationships, I am stronger, and I am smarter. Because I would not have, could not have, responded to the survey’s questions as I did this morning, in the dark loneliness of that chilly January evening over four years ago.

And I guess that is my gift to myself, if to no one else.

It was a needful reminder.

“Drop by drop…”

Because it is still all about the Aeschylus.

Filed under: Academia, Blogging, Music, Philosophy, Relationships , a-list, alucina, being a gay, defining moments, humor, linkage, memes are beneath me, memories, needful reminders, questions, theatre, video

No More Complaints And Grievances

In Memoriam
George Carlin
12 May 1937—22 June 2008

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.”

Filed under: Art , death, emotional landscapes, linkage, video

What I Drink Now

I awoke rather earlier than usual this morning and, immediately restless, decided to dash across the street to the grocery store to pick up cigarettes and a large coffee, black, with thirteen sugars. As I stood on a street corner awaiting the white “WALK” sign to alight, I caught a whiff of a scent on the pre-dawn breeze: the ocean. Fresh, crisp, and salty, it brought me back to a summer I once spent with my mother when I was very young, at an artist’s colony on the water in Cambria, California, when I spent the days reading the Brontës and the evenings enjoying dinners of fresh fish, the warmth of fireplaces, and long walks on the beach into the thick evening fog. Of course one would think that, living on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and only a mere six blocks away from the actual waters of Honolulu Harbor, I would catch a whiff of this scent every day.

But in fact it has been a long time since I last smelled it.

The most difficult aspect of sobriety for me, so far, has been the repositioning of my daily activities, traditions, and habits around the absence of alcohol. The physical maladies during the first several days of abstinence eventually dissipated and, while not entirely pleasant, were surpassed. Even the first few evenings of re-emerging onto the cocktail circuit and appearing in public entirely sober while carrying a non-alcoholic “cocktail” proved manageable. What is proving a challenge for me is the considerably more long-term work it is taking to ween myself of the psychological crutch that copious amounts of alcohol had become for me. Years ago, when I returned to my summer job in Chicago following my first year of college in New York, and over dinner at our favorite River North Greek restaurant showed several colleagues the countless photographs of me and my friends and our first year at college, one of my colleagues remarked to me, “Oh my God, Atherton! I will now never be able to imagine you without a cigarette in one hand and a cocktail in the other!” I remember picking up my ouzo, lifting it in the colleague’s direction as if toasting him, and agreeing, “I know, right?” So it is a bit of a challenge (well, really, a rather formidable challenge) to see a fixture, a habit, that has become so much a part of your life, of your personality, of your daily activities, suddenly erased.

It feels a bit odd to be drinking that raspberry Italian soda with the cigarette, now, instead of the Cosmopolitan.

The sensation is most palpable when I sit down at my desk to write. So much of my former alone time was spent at my laptop, dashing around online, conversing with friends, and, much later, after all of the cocktails I had ingested in the interim had begun to achieve their effects, tapping out on the keyboard what I considered at the time to be my best writing ever. Never mind that on the morning after, over coffee, when I would access my blog, I would rarely remember having written the evening before what I was reading that morning. But it was still The Shit. I think the most difficult aspect of sobriety, for me, at least, is returning to these old traditions of mine, traditions that were oiled so well by the inhibitions provided by alcohol, while entirely sober. Coming across the inspiration to write, and then actually doing it, and believing that I am creating or capturing something truly memorable, or witty, or touching, without the seeming confidence that cocktails always gave me, is proving more difficult for me than experiencing those initial physical pains of withdrawal, or noticing the absence of alcohol during social appearances.

It feels a bit odd to be drinking that Monster Energy Juice with the writing, now, instead of the three fingers of twelve-year-old single malt.

I know that it is a process, a journey, a shifting of habits and of sensibilities, a re-ordering of priorities and a re-learning of, basically, how to do anything without that crutch, without that, well, that something that has become so much a part of yourself that no one you know, and certainly not yourself, can imagine you without. But it is a journey I am willing to take, and a trade-off I am willing to make.

Especially since I suspect that sobriety is not an insignificant reason why I suddenly smelled the ocean this morning, after all of this time.

That and, you know, climatic conditions. But attributing it to sobriety and to what I drink now reads infinitely more romantic.

Like summers. And the Brontës. And Cambria.

Filed under: Books, Photography, Writing , defining moments, memories, needful reminders, photoblogging

The AB Remainders: Inaugural

As I have finally settled into and become comfortable again with my revitalized online blogging and researching habits, and, in an effort to provide a bit of context to what would otherwise end-up non-contextualized entries in my Tumblelog, thus further (and only a little falsely) perpetuating my online reputation as an eclectic, sometimes depressed, sometimes manic, emo artfag geek of all trades, I present: The Atherton Bartelby Remainders. Since in general once Friday rolls around I am usually too exhausted by the previous week to blog about anything coherently, I thought I would launch a new regular blog feature and cross my fingers that it does not travel where all of the previous “new blog features” have traveled in this blog, i.e., down the toilet. So this is where I will collect a handful of all of my Internet discoveries throughout each week that I in some way found inspirational, interesting, shocking, entertaining, or humorous, and want to share with others who may find them so, as well, or simply want to keep them hanging around for myself, at the end of a week that just totally tapped me out.

Yes, I totally just pimped my own blog. That is how I roll, people.

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• Speaking of tapping, I may be an extremely liberal-minded, pro-choice, pro-gay marriage (but not for myself, obviously), Democrat Party card-carrying gay man, but even I must admit that I totally have a crush on the 31-year-old John McCain. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’ve always had a thing for cute guys with prematurely silver hair, but, in the words of another blogger whose piece on the topic I came across yesterday, “I want to tap that so hard you guys.” Check out “I Am Totally Crushin’ On Young McCain” (and please be sure to watch the smokin’ hot video clip, as well!) on 236.com, via Gawker.
• The architecture nerd in me was reawakened like woah throughout the past several weeks, so I was elated to read that 860-880 North Lake Shore Drive, one of my favorite works of architecture in my hometown of Chicago and one of Mies van der Rohe’s first glass-and-steel high-rises, is finally undergoing some direly-needed restoration. An excellent photo essay of the project, with commentary: “Mies’ Lake Shore Drive Apartments Not Looking Good These Days,” on The New Modernist Edward Lifson, via Gaper’s Block.
• “The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button” is a 1922 short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, adapted for film by director David Fincher (starring Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt *dies*) and set for a Holiday 2008 release. I have always harbored a, well, curious obsession with this piece (probably yet another subconscious informant of the title of this very blog), and am happy / relieved to find that I am not the only one, as Jason Kottke seems to be compiling an impressive array of “TCCOBB”-related information and links. The Apple trailer for the film is available here, first discovered via Kottke.org.
• Another very recent, very pervasive obsession of mine? Images of and from Mars. I cannot articulate how special, fragile, strong, insignificant, and…fantastic…they make me feel, every time I see them. Once again, Boston.com’s truly astonishingly good “The Big Picture” delivers all shades of nothing but win in this arena, as well, with the most impressive collection of Mars-related imagery I have seen thus far, in “Martian Skies,” collected on Chicagoist.
• Those who are, like me, positively loving the latest version of Mozilla’s Firefox, yet have not, like me, thoroughly enjoyed seeing how the new browser displays images (i.e., rather desaturated), may want to tweak their Firefox settings to turn color profile support “on” in order to see a representation of colors more faithful to those in the original images. First brought to my attention via Joi Ito and Xeni Jardin, there is a great walk-through up now on Lifehacker.com for those interested in the fix.
• Tracks Currently Rocking My Decks (Errr…iTunes) On Repeat: David Vandervelde’s lush, happy, 1970s AM radio-esque “I Will Be Fine”, via Chicagoist; the Violent Femmes’ cover of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” (yes, you read that correctly, and yes, it sounds as freaking amazing as it reads), discovered on MySpace, via Gawker; and that catchy, addictive, oddly nostalgia-inducing “Again And Again” by The Bird And The Bee, which I eventually found on MySpace but originally saw in an equally cool video posted via Plaid’s Brand Flakes For Breakfast.
• Finally, I do not think I even need to comment at length on how shrilly this last item screams “Atherton Bartelby,” nor how perfect and fitting of a birthday gift it would be for me. I present: The Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie Doll, originally via Boing Boing.

Always have a smart skirt suit handy, mind the birds, and have a fabulous weekend!

Filed under: Architecture, Art, Blogging, Books, Film, Media, Music, Photography, Politics, Technology , chicago, humor, linkage, lists, omgwtfbbq, photoblogging, pimpage, remainders, retail therapy, science, urban appreciation, video