Where In The World Is Atherton Bartelby?

Palma, Majorca – Many concerned friends, family members, and frequent readers of the blogger known as Atherton Bartelby, a graphic designer from Honolulu, Hawaii, have inquired of late as to the whereabouts of this usually consistently frequent blogger, whose last published piece was an unheard-of two weeks ago to this day.

“I talk to Atherton on the phone, like, every day,” said his little sister from her home in Southern California. “But I’ve absolutely no idea where he actually is.” His brother, of Chicago, Illinois, could not be reached for comment.

This morning, however, reports are flooding in from the tiny Spanish island of Majorca regarding sightings of Atherton Bartelby from around the island’s ancient environs. One report confirmed his arrival at Son Sant Joan Airport nearly a week ago; another placed him at La Taberna de Cicerón Tapas Bar in Palma two days later, feasting on sobrassada, arros brut, and ensaïmada with the abstract painter Miquel Barceló and several younger members of the Spanish Royal Family. Finally, just yesterday Bartelby was seen dashing suspiciously into Bellver Castle, a thick manuscript held under one arm.

When asked if she thought these reported sightings could be valid, Bartelby’s little sister sighed and replied, “Probably. That puta could literally be anywhere.”

HA HA HA J/K.

All apologies for my seemingly abandoned online presence these days, but suddenly living my life has made me too busy to sit down and actually write about it. In fact, if you really, really want to know what is going on with me at any given moment, it may behoove your interests right now to simply frequently check my Twitter archive, as I’ve apparently no time and / or inclination of late to write anything about my life that is longer than 140 characters at any given moment of my days.

In short, I have been literally running all over Honolulu from interview to interview to conference to interview (with breath-catching breaks of cocktails, lunches, and dinners in between all, of course), reading a lot, and capturing my experiences and thoughts between the covers of my notebook that will hopefully turn into writing projects within the next few weeks. These include several pieces for publication here, as well as an outline for a novel for (I would hope) publication by someone else at a later date.

I am also just this week on the verge of landing two very exciting, very important professional positions, but I do not want to write about them at length right now for fear of jinxing their outcomes before the final words have come down. Let us just suffice it to write, shall we, that any positive thoughts regarding my chances of being offered both of them that you would care to send out into the Cosmos from the Blogosphere would be highly, highly appreciated.

So, never fear: Atherton Bartelby is still here, and he will, eventually, and hopefully soon, return on a more regular basis. Until he does, however, why don’t you busy yourself with something else fun? Like, say, joining the Color War 2008? Or imagining your own self on the island of Majorca? Or (should you be as ancient enough, as am I, to remember it) simply taking an LSD-laced trip down Memory Lane and watching the following clip of Leonard Nimoy performing “The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins”?

Until then, bon souhaits, mes chers!

[Also, if you can remember actually seeing this piece when it first aired, you get a cookie.]

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